Update! Caleb 12 1/2 Months

I cannot believe just how fast our little Mr. Caleb is growing. Somehow I went to bed one night and he was a tiny baby and then I woke up the next morning and now he's a full fledged toddler with a wander lust to match any of the worlds greatest explorers. At times he's utterly charming and cuddly and others he's increasingly willful and defiant. 

I will say that its a very good thing that for the most part he's a good tempered easy going kid because when he does decide to freak about something you will sooner be able to convince water to flow uphill than get that child to change his mind. 

Separation anxiety is in FULL swing. He's learned the signs that I'm leaving. If I change into going out clothes he freaks. He's fine with the grubbies I wear around the house, its the nice ones I wear in public that he freaks over. Grabbing my purse is another big one. He FREAKS. He starts clinging to my legs and shrieking and crying and trying to climb up and if I pick him up I swear he latches on so tight I could probably let go and he'd stay stuck to me. 

He's fine with Daddy coming and going. Probably because Daddy comes and goes every single day. But he's home with Mommy full time so we need to FREAK about Mommy leaving. I'm not even allowed to leave the room. He is just fine as long as I'm in line of sight. He'll happily play in whatever room I'm in, but if he can't see me... wow....

If I go in another room, he will stand at the baby gate and scream for a good couple minutes and then he settles right now and plays. I'm told if I leave him with somebody that he's fine until I actually walk back in the door at which point he freaks again. And I know its true because almost every kid I ever babysat did that. So its all for my benefit...

And he's developed this LOVELY new banshee scream that really, really makes me more than a little crazy. Its harder not to give him exactly what he wants just to get him to STOP making that horrible noise. Except that if we do that it reinforces the noise and we want that noise to go away and never, ever be made again. So right now its an exercise in pain tolerance while we work on NOT giving in. 

Caleb has also started with the "I do it" phase. I'm no longer allowed to feed him. He wants to do it himself. In fact he'll scream and have a full blown melt down if I forget and try to feed him. For the most part this is fine but its hard because he hasn't mastered a spoon or fork yet and some foods just don't work so well as finger foods. So I'm having to try hard to keep his diet balanced using only things he can eat with his hands. 

I'll admit its kinda funny to watch him get irked with a piece of food that won't get on the spoon. He'll try, and try and then he picks the food up and very deliberately drops it on the floor and tries again with a different piece. Its like the food has failed and will now be rejected for more cooperative food. lol

We are working on getting him to actually use plates and bowls. He's cool with them for about 2 minutes after which he will pick it up, turn it upside down and then dump it on the floor. I will say its a lot harder to keep the floor clean than it used to be....

He's not so much using words yet but he's very expressive about what he thinks. When he's done eating he'll look right at me and pick up a piece of food off the tray, reach over and very deliberately drop it on the floor and the put his arms up in the air to be picked up. If I don't pick him up he will repeat the process until I get the point.

Its also interesting to see his tastes evolve. Somehow fruit almost NEVER winds up on the floor or down the sides of his high chair, but other things appear there with shocking regularity. He loves cheese and is a big fan of Club crackers. He likes pickles and milk and turkey. He wasn't so much a fan of the Pepper Steak I gave him last week. 

But he can be utterly charming. He is starting to laugh when other people laugh, just because they're laughing. Its a hoot. He loves to give cuddles and get kisses. I'm trying to get him to catch on that he can give kisses back but right now he seems more interested in receiving them. 

He walks better and faster by the day. I still think he resembles a drunken sailor most of the time but he really is getting good. He can walk up to an object, bend over and pick it up with out falling down and then carry it with him while he's walking. 

Caleb loves to chew on straws. He loves music and has started to dance when he hears it. Its so dang cute. He's working hard to master "In" and "Out" and "Open" and "Close". He loves to turn the pages when I read him stories. He loves animals. He laughs and gets so excited when he is near one. He tries to sneak up on me and "get me". If I have my back turned doing something all of the sudden I hear him go "Aaah!" as he grabs me and then laughs his little butt off. Its so dang cute. 

He loves his bath time. He LOVES to splash in the water and play with his toys and generally has a ball. 

We took him in the pool today for the first time. He really liked it. He was definitely very focused on clinging to Momma but he sure thought splashing Daddy was cool and he laughed and smiled and played for like a whole 15 minutes before he started shivering so we took him back inside. 

Caleb is FEARLESS and he loves to climb. The combination has lead to multiple cardiac stress tests for Mommy and Daddy as we attempt to keep him from killing himself. Yes they do need to fall and learn that it hurts so they can learn not to do it again. But if they actually die in the process its hard to learn not to do it again when you're dead. So its a balancing act of trying to let him have to freedom to learn and judging the risk involved so he doesn't get hurt TOO badly. 

In a lot of ways its a balancing act for Mommy. Its bitter sweet is so many ways. I love to see him grow. I miss the tiny baby who loved to cuddle with Mommy for hours on end. Now sometimes he's so busy being busy and getting into stuff that I have to pin him down to get a cuddle for a minute. And yet I couldn't be prouder of him. I delight in every new thing he does. I try hard to teach him as best I can. And in some ways I want him to be older, mostly so he can help pick up his toys and actually come when called. And yet I desperately don't want him to grow up because it means one day he'll be all grown up and gone... I guess the goal is to find joy in every step of the journey. There's good and bad in every part. 

I loved the cuddles but I longed to have my hands free. Now I have my hands free and I miss the cuddles. I guess its just important to be careful what you wish for and try to focus on enjoying the now.