Attn: All Non-Pregnant People

So in the last 9 months I have determined the following phrases/topics of conversation are not helpful and should be avoided when talking with pregnant women (or at least this pregnant woman):

#1. "Oh, but it's all worth it". 

While I am sure that once my baby gets here I will love him more than life itself and will clearly be willing to go to hell and back for him. However, the phrase "Oh, buts its all worth it" is NOT comforting. For me it makes me think: "Ya know I think I'd rather be skinned alive, dipped in honey and laid on a fire ant mound in the desert in summer than go through all that again, but don't worry .... it's ALL worth it." It's a phrase that bodes and it does NOT bode well. 

#2. "Your life will never be the same again."

Maybe if I hated my life this would be comforting, but the truth is that I love my life and I am VERY happy right now. In fact, I admit I've done some mourning because I have really enjoyed the last two years of just my husband and me and I know that this is about to end and it's going to be a good couple of decades before we have any where close to the kind of alone time we've enjoyed the last two years. I'm excited to start a new chapter but sad to see this one end. 

#3. All pregnancy/labor and delivery horror stories and tales of the traumas and worries of a new baby. 

I promise I already have a FULL compliment of anxiety with regards to the pain and discomfort of labor. Pregnancy has sucked. Labor does NOT sound like fun. I do NOT need further encouragement to freak out by being told tales of labors that lasted for days, horrible tears/rips, pelvic fractures, and all manner of problems with the baby's health. Also I am fully aware that the first several months I will get no sleep, I will be a slave to a child who requires feeding every two hours day and night, and I will get soaked in all manner of bodily fluids and have no small amount of anxiety over his health and well being. There is no need to graphically rehash these details. It's not helpful.